wonder

i'm glad that i have this mostly private journal. posters on livejournal seems to have the emotional maturity of five year olds. writing for an audience is a different kind of thing, and you would think journals would equate with reflection but it's more like they are looking for a microphone to amplify their tales and solicit empathy. i constantly want to take some of those people and yell at them and then i think, man am i getting preachy or high and mighty...do i think i have all the answers? i don't, but i do think i have some and it's hard sometimes when i see people being so unreal. how did they graduate from kindergarten...or at least 9th grade?

for awhile i felt kind of like nothing new could impress me and every book i read bored me. (wow, i think i'm becoming a boring person) then i realized i pretty much read the same kinds of things and delve deep in the same subjects. it's kind of funny to notice how when i finally decide to look up a random word that has been hanging around in the periphery forever I start to see it everywhere! this just shows me how much i disregard or do not question when i don't know a thing about anything.

i read wicked last week. it was great, but i decided to switch it up before i picked up the next book by that same author (and UAlbany graduate) so i'm reading barack obama's second book. i knew a lot about how our senators worked before, but i love all the small stories that tell the big picture. so anyway, i think the key for me to is to try to do things or read about things outside of the realm of what i currently enjoy or feel comfortable with. who knows, i might even read something scientific one of these days. i found an elementary school diary that said science was my favorite subject. it felt like reading someone else's words and i wondered when i lost that person.

someone once told me they did not believe in the solar system. of course, this seems crazy-but how crazy is it?? what i mean is that do we really try to wrap our brains around things and understand them or do we just accept them. if you don't believe at least you actually get how crazy it is that my bran is revolving around the sun right now. at least you've taken the initiative to think about it. so i guess i still want to live in wonder and feel like i can learn things.

p.s. i believe in the solar system.