life

so i have a new blog. it's mostly for me. going back and looking at my old blog entries from six years ago was amazing and really made me laugh when me and lisa were talking. at the same time, i'm sick of writing for an audience and wanting to update and never doing it. so while this is public, it's with the knowledge that no one is going to really find any value in it other than maybe me.
recently i told amanda that graduating from college does not prepare you in any way for the consequences of graduating from college. elementary school is probably a better preparation for the world of work, where if you are 2 minutes late you are OUT! (not that i've been late to a job yet, i'm just saying that the consequences are there again). college is the most consequence free environment you can get. it is a ridiculous time period during which attendance is optional and coasting is necessary to a well rounded experience. you don't cook but are fed at an all-you-can- eat dining facility and live in dorms where they even handle your cable bill. no one stays up waiting for you so you don't even need to come home. so, yes, it misled me, but whatever made me think real life would require so little from me?

i'm tired. my masters degree couldn't possibly prepare me for the realities of teaching either. i got to bed at 9pm. the first day i subbed was spanish with no lesson plan and i don't speak spanish. subbing is the worst job in the world, but that deserves a separate entry.

i miss my friends. i just don't know where i want to live and what i want to do. i miss my family, all of them, and i really do appreciate everything about them in ways that somehow escaped me during my angst ridden high school years.
i hope that me and ed will play bubble bobble soon because it makes me happy. or maybe start on chrono trigger. we just finished earthbound. SNES games are the best forms of escapism.

i'm very scattered. i try to do 1000 things at once and never finish anything (except earthbound). example: i'm currently playing like 10 video games at once, reading 20 books, learning guitar, watching 10 different tv series, trying to get better at chess/scrabble. i sometimes think of this in a geeky way: if i had stats there would be a million but they'd all be level 1. i'm ridiculous. i make a half-assed attempt at anything and everything.